To tell you
the truth, I don’t always want go to the orphanage. Sometimes it happens that
all of the sudden I am longing to go home, to my family, to its warmth. All of the
sudden I begin to have these thoughts about the importance of spending time
with the family and of the importance of spending time with my child. And then
clearly human’s so well known and even so dear laziness. In other words it becomes
obvious that the Deceiver with all of his power wants to still my desire to
serve the Lord and His children. And then all those religious thoughts come along
like "it’s not my gift”, "without faith”, "it’s not mine calling”, "you will
always have poor among you”, "not by work but through grace”. And so you have a
whole set of religious scholastic which has in his head "Quotes from the Bible”,
sleepy and sad eyes but in his mind his is sure that the right decision is
being made, that walks on the right path. What we would call a Pha-ri-see, and
doesn’t matter how many times we have used this word ourselves. I look and think:
there is everything – people coming, knowledge and confidence that everything
is not yours, except for the things you need; and you need to prepare a sermon
for Sunday. Oh! That is how I am going
to spend my time! I should stay home and read. Commentaries, interpretations,
Bible... snorrrrrrre...
You cannot tell
in words when you are tired, cold, from across the world in the dark going home
and inside of you is peace, calmness and joy. You had been there with Jesus you
had prayed with them, you had blessed them. You had brought Jesus to them. You
had brought them Life. The religion had lost because religion is self deception
of saving yourself through self-righteousness, self-knowledge. And you go on the
bus 50km away from your home and rejoice that you had lived one more day not in
vain.
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